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| Training in army was life-shattering for me. I was utterly defeated in the army in many ways-- my pride, my self-esteem and even my smile was gone. This was wrong, all wrong, I felt. But how did I know that? Why in the world with all that proabability and chance that made it up would allow me to to say something was right or wrong? My athesitic mind was unsatisfied. Maybe my friend Kar Seng was right. If there was a god or gods, maybe they just made the world and left it for us to thrive, not caring whether we surivived or not. I couldn't prove whether there was a god or wasn't one. I then jumped from atheism to agnosticism. Nevertheless, I was just not satistfied. If a deist, uncaring god existed, why would he implant Moral Law in me? I struggled with this as my evolutionary answer for this was inconclusive. Furthermore, there was a flaw to my agnosticism. Can I claim to be a true agnostic without looking at other sources which claim to know God or gods? I wouldn't be agnostic or atheist then; I would be ignorant. Then became my true journey in the search for truth. | | |
| Christmas is less than a month away. So I shall write about how I came to Christ over the years. I guess it all started as I though about it when I was 15. Was I a commited Christian? My friends all called me one, but I was not so sure. I started to have my doubts. Why was there a god? At that time, I thought that he was needed to explain stuff science could not reach-- the existence of of the first cell and the left-handedness of amino acids were among the stuff. However, as I grew older (about 17-18), my 'God of the gaps' argument slowly faded. Suddenly Evolution and abiogenesis could explain those stuff I required God for. God for me, then was jobless. I cried out infrsutration, trying to reach for him in my spirituality but could not find him. I then wanted to stop attending church. I stopped praying. I avoid Christian fellowship. I was effectively an atheist. I though faith was ignorance of reason. I did not let anyone know as I did not want my parents to know. I thought I was doing fine-- till I joined the army. | | |
| I have a research proposal to work on for evolutionary biology. It's the first time I'm doing a proposal and I am stuck. I have to start from scratch, and I have no idea how to begin. However, I enjoy it. It's the first time where I can say to myself-- what shall I discover today? | | |
| It was a Tuesday night. Nathan, my Christian Union president was attending an inter-faith talk, and I was one of the many members to attend it too.
There I heard speakers present a basic overview of Hinduism, Sikhism, Buddhism, Christianity, Jainism, Bahai, Islam and Judaism. The speaker for Christianity, Brother Mairesean sounded really nervous. Nevertheless, I was glad that he still stuck to the Bible in endorsing inter-faith relations. Although it was not the first time I had attended such an event, it was the first I participated in a discussion.
Assigned to discussion room number 5, I had two Christians (Tosin and Chris Strong), 4 Muslims, 1 atheist/Buddhist, and the Jainism speaker in my room. And we had a huge discussion.
Well, at least I thought it was huge until they quizzed me about the Trinity. I thank God for Tosin and Chris helping me as we tried explaining how God is 3-in-1.
And then one of the Muslims remarked how he does not accept that Jesus could be fully man and fully God at the same time. To him, it was unthinkable that a limitless God would take a form of a limited being.
I absolutely agree with him. Why would God do such a thing? But he had to. By becoming man, he could empathise with us, and feel every pain as he took upon every sin. But he had to be fully God to be able to take every sin and bear them on the cross.
It is love so absurb, amazing and divine.
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| This next series of posts will be little shorts updates, about some new experiences I encountered in my third year in the UK. So without further ado, let me start.
As you may or may not know know, last week I was a Christian Union Weekend Away held in Surrey Court, just outside central London. I had a nice, relaxing break. We played ultimate frisbee, enjoyed sparklers and had more than enough to eat.
It was something new to me, as I never been to a camp where majority of the participants are non-Chinese. (New Word Alive partly counts, but I was mainly at an International Conference). Getting used to the lingo they used, and introduced to new games (Bop it!) were the highlights, but I was really amazed by their priorities and differing work ethics.
It was really a revolution of the mind. I would also like to praise to my friend Jon Buckley (pictured to the extreme right) for constantly looking out for me.
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