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| My first module is over. Finally I can get some sleep, and start applying for my Masters.
My external hard drive was suddenly corrupted for no apparent reason, and I have lost of my soft copies of my previous two year's work. Nevertheless, I still have the soft copies.
Is God angry with me? I wonder at the back of mind. Afterall, I have not been doing the things I ought to be doing. And the things I should not be doing, I do. Then I remember, Christ died for me while I was still a his enemy-- that proves his love for me (Romans 5:8).
That's why I really appreciate Christianity. Because I know I am so utterly useless and sinful, that it had to take God to come down and die for me. And if that is true, that I am forever, in His debt.
So, is Jesus happy the way I am living? I would say yes, but I am inspired to be better, because I love Him.
I am so glad to see the rain halt again.
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| "Where will you be this weekend?" I was asked. "At a camp," I answered. It was not a lie, but it was definitely not the truth. Why do I shy from telling the truth? I will be at a short weekend Christian camp. I can't meet you today because I have a cell group leader meeting. I am not free at night because I have to run some errands for the Christian Union. It is as if I coat the light of truth with the darkness of cover. As I ashamed to be a Christian? Afterall, most of my peers know that I am a Christian. Am I too comfortable living in shades of grey? I remember a time when I could easily make hard choices and yet still sleep well at night. I am no longer that person. The rain is starting to clear up-- yet I still see clouds of grey. | | |
| What makes a hero? I wondered as again I crawled out of bed to lumber to school. "A hero does not only ask why he has to go through something, but how to do it." Shuddering everytime I remind myself I have a presentation due on Friday, and a practical report due on Monday, I proceed to do my work. "A hero is brave not because of the circumstance, but in spite the circumstance." Time is crashing down. The temperature has dropped. I am more exhausted than I ever dare to admit. Still I work. "A hero makes sacrifices." Walking pass a donation box, I decide to do something good today. "A hero never sees himself as one." I never considered myself a hero. Never really. Afterall, I am just simply following the legacy of one man, and one God. | | |
| For the next series of entries, I am going to write in a 'noir' style of events that has happened to me.
Without further ado, this is the first one:
It rained on Sunday. How ironic. Shivering out of bed, I reluctantly reached for my alarm clock. I had been sleeping for about 6 hours a day for the past few weeks due to work. I need sleep. But it was close to 9am, and I needed to go to church.
Ready to bathe, I nearly yelped as the water spurted out from the shower head. Stupidly, I did not check the temperature before operating the taps."What a way to start the day," I fleetingly thought as I headed out into the rain.
I must have been exhausted by the week's events. I barely could stay awake during the service, and pondered as the speaker was praying for someone who had felt a sense of duty. Was he praying for me? I dragged my fatigue-ridden body to my VInE elections, held at Wenxiu's place.
Wenxiu had always been praised as a fantastic cook, but I was too lethagic to smell or eat. To be honest, I just wanted the election to be over quickly. However, I have a knack for not getting what I want. It dragged on and on as we debated the position of vice-president for the longest time.
Glad that it was over, I slowly returned home admist the light drizzle. Part of me was worried. When it rained, I did not expect it to last forever.
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| On Wednesday, I awoke feeling great. Why? I have no idea. Grabbing my best shirt, I travelled to class. And I was right. Firstly, my scholarship officer finally replied to me via email. I know he's usually busy, and take ages to answer my queries, so I was grateful for that at least. I bumped into my long lost friend Katie. It was great to see her, as she had transferred from Biology to business. I'm very grateful for the friends I have. I'm glad to have helpful coursemates like Joshua Ansell, Joshua Wang, Ifi, Michelle, Cheok Hao, Andee, Jade, Jackin and lots more. Most of all, I'm glad to be Christian, and will sing of the one who has come, and will come here again. | | |
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